my short term memory is crap, and it specialises in being crap at dates, times, places, names etc. I can however, remember a load of other stuff most would consider useless, with impeccable accuracy. additionally my long term memory is very good and long reaching. for the exhibition I was participating in I made paintings based on not having been to my home town for 25 years, but still having recurring memories of the small, pram height place. when you're only a few months old the reality of a place is a different experience of reality (than I was having now of course) and I would like to hold onto that
I would describe age 0-5 as happy years. I remember more than most from this period of time and, trite as it sounds, I have a sure and defined memory of when I decided I wanted to be an artist as my life. I admit I often refer to this period of time in my life as significant and where I had all my best ideas. I do believe that the length of our life is only just about adequate to outwork the ideas we have when we're 0-5
I now live back in the area (glasgow) having had 25 fairly tumultuous years in aberdeen, I'd go as far to say. as I visited dumbarton I was expecting some sort of catharsis but actually I found the train station creepy as fuck and I wanted to get back to the city right away. however, it was nice to revisit the bridge I crossed every day, the swans, the view of dumbarton rock, the old flat my family of 6 used to live in. the building I painted turned out to be a memory of a huge abandoned red brick factory. I always thought it was my dad's architects office where he'd take me sometimes and I'd get to draw on fancy paper and stuff. I remembered the pillars on the bridge accurately as I remember either being wheeled in a pram, or walking by them most days. the swans were still there no doubt a couple of generations along
before I was 5 I didn't have to bother about the changing and stressful nature of life. I worry a lot about change and insecurity and to go somewhere that was pretty much the same as I left it, gave me a strange sense of steadiness. what we see at 0-5 is very important, very informative, always part of us, and I'd be naive and foolish to dismiss dumbarton as the shithole it really is. I had my most productive years there
see the paintings HERE
