all modes on

I'm refreshing my own memory here of a performance piece I did first in 2007. I was considering selling on some old keyboards (I have far too many) but I still have a flame for 'all modes on' which I need a lot of them for. maybe there is still milage in this piece and maybe I will resurrect it again sometime when it's appropriate. I've also never really written much on line about it so here goes

all modes on is a performance lasting 30-50 minutes and basically consists of me and a lot of old keyboards and tape. over the course of the performance, in time, I tape down each and every key with tape. each time it's different and each time there is a similar outcome, a developing visual aesthetic and a slow, hypnotic crescendo of sound. in large venues I make sure I have a projector and camera screening live from above the performance area to get all those nice blacks, whites and new lines in. in small venues I have done it with amplification and with a close crowd

I'm an artist and a musician and I keep the two pretty separate. they are different disciplines, and should be, so this 'cross over' area was something I approached with caution. I am too used to seeing artists trying to use music and calling it art when it's not and visa versa

when I studied music at school I remember my teacher telling us about modal music. the easiest way, I was taught, to know those modes by sound, by using the white keys on the piano. C-C = Ionian (equivalent to our major scale) D-D = dorian (a scale used a lot in folk and celtic music E-E = phrygian etc. sometimes certain modes were employed in music for battle for their 'strong' feel. sometimes in times of depression certain modes were banned for use by composers because they were too 'sad' and stuff like that

I like the act of taping down the keys and choosing how to make the sound emerge. I guess some folk think it's all predetermined, and some think it's random. I can only describe it as a sort of improvisation, much like when you're painting, you do something, then you assess, look at it, maybe for some time, then make your next move on the back of that. with this though, it's with sound and it's more immediate, like music is

and without all that babble, the mark making process, the concentration required and numbing loudness during the last half of the performance, makes me feel like it completes some kind of circle much like the feeling of realising a painting is finished, or realising you understand music




here's excerpts from a wee zine I gave out at my show at peacock visual arts of all modes on 2008

yoko ono knife

a new piece I gifted a friend today (luck them) and I think has some milage in it. I don't know why yoko ono was part of this, or if she'll sue me, but I'm going to go with my instinct on this and make a set

iphone drawings

I started making some illustrations a la iphone mainly because I'm moving house and studio and all my pens and pencils are packed, so my hands get bored

2p coin

 teacup

 pencil

clock

parcel tape

 toy car

 bathroom door handle

 thread

 remote control

 wifi router

I'm moving to glasgow

I'm not going to have a rant about aberdeen and why it's shit to be an artist there, that's a given. I love aberdeen as a place on this earth and I am going to miss the surrounding countryside massively. things I am going to miss:

1. the shower in my flat. I'm not kidding, it's the best shower in the world. almost worth the fact that my rent is sky high and my flat is tiny. I mean, when we have friends over I'm like 'you need to use our shower, it's so much better than you can even imagine' and they should. also you could fit like 4 people in it. not that we ever have or would really want to

2. the windows in my aberdeen studio. they open. my new one has much window but not onto a street. bummer

3. the water. it tastes so good

4. being able to walk everywhere

my studio all packed up

temporary art school

I took part in the temporary art school this march 2012 and it was pretty fun. I did the 'art and philosophy' class, why I'm not sure. I don't know very much about the academic side of philosophy, like nothing really. I think though it's something that should be part of every artists arsenal. to be honest though at the end of it, I was dying to stop talking and coming to the constant conclusion and answer of 'we don't have a fucking clue about anything' and get back to making art. ironically out of all the 'tutors' I was the most prolific practitioner/maker, and here I was trying to make something of this massively cerebral subject

I can't be arsed filling out this post right now but I think I will later and try and make something of it, even just for me

books

this is my third illustrated book. I started my first one because I needed something to absorb some energy to draw and some ideas for stories I'd come up with to occupy my son's imagination during walks to and from school, to and from the studio. anyway, now I'm on number three. I've told my son this story about 100 times, it's one of his favourites (having a keen interest in all things nature) andI actually think it's a fairly good story. it's informative. actually the way I have chosen to draw it has turned out to be a task beyond any other illustration work I've done. I wanted to 'wow' future publishers at how much ink I can cram into one page, but in actuality I'll never be doing a book in this style before. I've been banging on at it for ages and if I didn't like the story so much, I'd maybe have given up. here's some rough pictures of some drawings I've done so far

being self employed

I am suffering the ill effects of being self employed right now. before you go and decide you want to be self employed, remember a few things that may put you off:
1. how hard you work each day matters. money will not appear in your bank monthly year in year out without you making things happen
2. if you get your business in massive debt but are paying yourself a nice salary you will be elidgable for more credit and people will think you're 'successful'. if you muck by, you're shit
3. people always think your job (and I'm focussing on the creative industries here) is a joke. after all drawing is for kids, painting should make you rich and music is only good if you are 'signed' and 'make it'
4. you will work at least 50% more than you think you'll have to
5. optimism is something that you learn the hard way to manage with caution yet have to rely on, as you've no choice
6. banks think you're shit. even though at any point someone with a 'real job' can lose that job, you're still more of a liability appart from the fact if you were low on money, you get a JOB
7. at least 50% of your time is admin, so don't think it's a blissful life, you have to wear many hats
8. when people suggest you are 'living the dream' you feel shit because sometimes all you dream of is to turn up somewhere for a set amount of hours, do something easy, go home and money is there. no hassle, no tax returns, credit elidgability and a pension
9. people find it hard to understand how an art career is a very slow growing one. you need time and space to grow a practice. stop working and you might as well forget it. there's not one artist who just got a really big show for nothing. curators like to watch artists for years to check their work is getting less shit over time
10. no holidays

on a more positive note the pros for being self employed and running our own business are:
1. you can tell whoever you want to fuck off

wrong reasons to be self employed:
1. because you want heaps of money. it's so not that easy
2. I met a guy who told me 'I've been working for a wanker boss all my life, now I want to be the wanker boss' what a complete prick
3. to walk about with a sense of 'people to see, places to go' worse still, to tell people 'I own my own company' and stuff all the time. what is that about?
4. because you've read all these tips and motivational slogans on websites for people who claim to be successful business people (bloggers, writers, etc) and you feel like you can do it peasers. in real life these people often have inherited shitloads of money and their business is for extra pocket money
5. to look cool. you're nae special get over yourself

right reasons to be self employed:
1. by default, because you kinda have to be for your type of work
2. to do what you love doing because you believe you have something that you could make a career of, money oriented or not
3. flexibility of time to accommodate family commitments that come first. that's a top one. it's so easy to overwork yourself and become a dick to the ones you love-remember if you can't make being self employed work in your favour for the real values in life, don't bother
4. to see what it's like. why not?


so that's it. good luck if you want to be self employed. it's very hard knowing that if you just fit in, work the ladder, earn your salary, you are likely to have that boring life we all want. sometimes I totally want that boring life but the bog standard way of going to school then uni then work has seemed to produce a lot of bedrooms with them wavey ikea mirrors, gas barbecues, garden trampolines with massive safety implementations, two point four children wearing 'gap' jumpers to play on said trampoline, and homes with barely any actual items in, spare the odd brown leather coaster. having a career that doesn't pay well yet, or never, but you're giving it a go, might make your life more interesting though. long as you're not one of those idiots who comes across as having all this 'business advice' and actually you find out they're in massive debt and they're a knob. well done.

one more thing or two:

don't take advice from:
1. anyone who claims to know a lot but they're not actually doing what they want to. they've been pushed to sell out and will try and make you see the 'reality' of a situation and leave you feeling like there's no point even trying
2. overly cautious people. you're going to have to take risks. listen but take with a pinch of salt. a nice big one.
3. people 'in marketing'. most patronising bastards ever.
4. people overly eager to work with you. it's normally to boost their own confidence, credibility by association and to mooch off your resources. sorry of that's really cynical. just beware!
5. websites with heaps of acronyms and slogans. always shite that someone is just making money out of making a book full of
6. people who fucking love to advertise that they're their 'own boss'. always a prick

take advice from:
1. the people you live with. assuming those are the people you like best, make sure your job doesn't make you cranky. if so change what you do day to day
2. yourself. trust your instinct and inexperience
3. generous people. you want that quality

artists angst and why we have it

I warn you now-this is going to get sweary. its unavoidable. I applied last year to a tv show called 'show me the monet' (shit title I know) and I was invited to go for an interview in glasgow where I would be asked about my work and things. after getting through to the final and a really weird set of questions they realised my painting (which by the way my entire art career was based on) was a foot too big. So even though apparently my work was the one the critics (yeah that's who you end up showing your work to in a big london show) actually thought was good (in fact one even contacted me personally) I was out. I was asked to reapply this year and so why not, I did, thinking maybe I can meet some folk in the wider art world. however, after a phone call today from 'show me the monet' (google it) I stood in the spar (where they conveniently proceeded to phone interview me) holding my solitary packed of always ultra, and was asked the most stupid questions of my life. I was also asked to pay my own way to an interview (which is not an interview by the way it's you being filmed and they check if they can film you from an angle you don't look too unattractive) in newcastle next week. then could I give three days in london on dates they don't know yet for three days to film, also self funded. ok now I am going to lay the fuck into this:

here are actual questions I was asked (this is meant to be an art related programme that takes work from varying ages and stages of artists and makes a big show and silent auction where you might get folk paying heaps more or less for your piece):

q: what made you want to be an artist
a: it's like how most people choose a career-love or money. I chose love over money

q: what is your biggest inspiration
a: I have no idea how can you know (fuck right off with this HORRENDOUS reoccurring question. Wat the fuck am I meant to say? this is the question that makes me want to punch an interviewer in the face. when I take a shit the section of impending relief inspires me. when I make pasta for tea some advert I saw on tv earlier inspires me. when I write a song the thought of singing it inspires me and an idea I picked up from looking at someones life or anything else. when I make art every single part of my life is something I draw from. it changes, it fluctuates from mark to mark. seriously we're not in school and we don't need 'research and developement sheets to make us into good artists.) never ask me this fucking awful question

q: how would you rate yourself as an artist between 1 and 10
a: 10 (oh god. I remember this question from the first time they interviewed me. sorry but what's the actual fuck does that mean? let's take something we all know is really subjective and specialist and ask you to rate it like its the latest fucking Bombay bicycle club album in the latest edition of clash. I think full marks of my work because I work hard and I'm devoted to not sabotaging to idiotic shit like that. what am I meant to say? 'aw about 7 because I'm no rauschenberg' I mean what a fucking waste of time to talk about that.)

q: you valued your painting at £850. what would you buy with that money if you sold it?
a: rent?
q: no something special
a: (ok I have just identified THIS is the question where I almost exploded with disrespect. so selling a painting is a fucking treat? I'm not pure I've actually been more patrionised in my fucking life. I wasn't 'allowed' to say rent or that it's go into my business account to pay bills. as a young artist, and until I've forged a valuable career with integrity and discipline, I do earn lower than minimum wage. £850 for a painting-do they think that's like a lottery win or something?? the major problem is the people making this show know fuck all about art and how it works. never feeling so and misrepresented in my life I replied maybe I'd buy a new guitar or a holiday but that's not the truth because I would be buying materials and studio rent)
q: so you'd buy a new guitar
a: no, really not.

q: are you ok with cameras and being filmed?
a: it happens sometimes so no I'm not going to cry

q: there will be critics maybe saying negative things about your work. how do you feel about that-will it be hard to deal with?
a: no (that's right artists like to make work and never find out if it's shit. I'm not used to critisism so I will cry and pee my pants at the same time if someone questions my work. is this actually how little respect people have for art? the fucking point is that as artists, we want argument, we want a chance to stick up for our work and if you can't fuck off. artists long for this type of interaction- don't patrionised us by saying all our work is are pretty pictures that mean the world to us. fuck that right in the face.)


I hate how artists are treated like we should be paying for opportunities, thanking people from the media that they let us into their cool world. artists we need to stop taking this shit. often we're treated like the bottom rung, the lowest denominator and desperate for exposure and sales. similarly if you call yourself an artist and aren't making any fucking work-wise the fuck up. art isn't there for life to stop it happening. I understand the struggles of money but if art is left to the rich we are fucked. the whole actual world is fucked. I mean it.

make art and don't entertain stupid fucking questions. I'm not doing their tv show because I can't afford the travel and I'm not having them saying shit like 'sarah has a really interesting life and if she sells this pretty picture she's going to buy a brand new guitar because she does music on the side too. how creative' GET. TO. ACTUAL. FUCK.

my cheapo xmas

in an attempt to give my child a 'main' present but also not really spend money on it, I've been renivating this bmx I got free from becycle. it's bird themed because he's into birds, not to make it look dumb. I am hoping I can pass it off as something awesome not just something old and rusty which is why I've tried to mask all the shit parts with coloured enamel

 crossbar bag with housemartin pattern

 crossbar pad with swallow pattern

 seat with eagle pattern

I also made him this after he'd told me of a dress design he had where it'd be a multicoloured dress with a cute volcano with a face on it and volcano buttons for the straps of the dress. not sure where that came from but he will like this, honest.

I made a small amount of these-oil paintings on vintage dominos. there are totally not even enough for all my mates so if you get one, feel awesome

sketching - the game

me and my son qeren play this game that he calls 'sketching'. basically I write something and he has to draw it and vice versa. sometimes we play variations like drawing a sound and you have to draw what made it or draw something and write what sound it makes. I'm not doing this because it's some modern, hippy parenting technique to make your child appear creative, I do it because it's funny, which after all, is the most important thing in life and so help me god, the one value I will pass on to my offspring. here's some of our 'sketches' ENJOY

 triangular super hero

 a really patterned bottle

 a halloween celebration

 a really beautiful bunch of flowers

 an apple seed going to it's first day of school

 sizzle and beep

 bottle of really weird juice (fruit bite)

 domino do it or I will hug you xxx

 POOP DANGER

 poop driving a go cart

 mum picking her nose and farting (and this is not because I do this often)

 bird says 'churp' and bird says 'hacan tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet' (snoring noise)

 a yellow bogie

 mum putting red pen on her face. danger on your pen

 a multicoloured bogie wearing a winter jacket

 a bird that is suprised (it poops itself it's so surprised)

 a coin getting crushed by a bogie

 the silliest man ever (that's him trampolining on his head)

 a germ, bacteria, snot and foot crud sandwich

 a coffee that has it's birthday

 if I remember correctly I think this means no spew, poops, bogies, crud and peeing out of a willy

 imaginary unicorn cookies

 a bogie flavoured sprite

 onion man meets mayo woman. cannot draw refer to this question. this paper will self destruct in 10 seconds. 10, 9,8,7,6.....

 broccoli so angry it eats a cow

 a stick sneezing glitter

 the cutest sushi competition

 a class of clever mushrooms

 the worst board game

 a cup of tea with a badge collection

 a really sensible turnip who is actually totally stupid

 half dorito half pepsi max

 an even crazier turnip

 a rubbish roller coaster with a boring ending

 a crazy turnip

 the pyramid that caught fire but only a little

 a tiny puppy hugging a massive kitten

 a person with the worst ever manners (talking over)

 your face after eating brocoli

 a big smelly shoe

 a ladybird spewing on a tiny ladder

a clock that tells the future